Have you seen King Richard, starring Will Smith? It’s based on tennis coach Richard Williams and his two daughters, Venus and Serena Williams. I’m not giving away any spoilers, no worries, only I will ask you, if you’re going to watch it, pay careful attention to ABE throughout the film. ABE is my acronym for Attitude, Belief and Expectancy. All their lives would have been very different without ABE.
It’s easy to watch the movie and go to various emotional places as a parent, or even as an adult child, wondering what might have resulted had we been or had we parented differently.
And, the wonderful thing about life is that the point of power is always in the now. We can begin to parent ourselves and our children differently right here and right now. We can raise the bar for ourselves first. I’m not talking about accomplishments here, I’m talking about BEING. We can raise the bar in who we are being. We can become more conscious of our interactions with our self talk, with others, and our children. We can alter our behavior and step into being the Adult.
We can practice outgrowing the 3 R’s: resentment, resistance and regret.
You get to decide how you’re going to respond to the world and others around you. It’s so easy to react to our kids when they’re doing something. We react to other family members and then most often go into either resistance or regret.
Imagine having a day without emotionally reacting to loved ones, kids, partners, co workers, bosses, employees, sales people, friends, It’s possible, but it takes practice.
The only way to begin is through awareness and intention. Watch what happens to your body when you’re reacting to someone or something. Then, become the observer very quickly. It will help you remove yourself for a moment and that might be all you need to regain composure and respond to the situation.
Today, look for the 3 R’s in conversations. The average person either shares a regret they’ve had, a resentment towards another or a situation or resistance towards something or someone a few times a day in conversation. Notice this in your own conversations.
Resentment, Resistance, Regret carry a low frequency emotion and will in turn continue to attract more resistance, regret and resentment. When we live or engage in conversations of regret, resistance or resentment we are either living in the past or worrying and anxious about the future. We are not in the present and in appreciation for our now and the magic that surrounds us. A beautiful flower, a bird, a white cloud, all this can be magic if we choose to focus and appreciate its beauty and splendor.
Practicing this level of conscious awareness allows us to enter into the fourth dimension of consciousness. Being present allows us to have a simpler and yet more abundant life than the life of resentment, resistance and regret.
As you go through your days this week, pay attention to your 3R’s. Catch and change those conversations immediately. Nothing is more powerful than your Words! There’s a story about a herd of wild elephants that were kept in an enclosure made of stakes and low ropes. The elephants believed they were trapped because of the illusion of the ropes keeping them confined. In reality, the ropes were low enough for them to step over and find freedom.
We keep ourselves confined in imaginary bondage by thoughts of regret, resentment and resistance to change and the unknown. If you’re ready to step over your ropes, let your intuition guide you, you can begin your personal journey of following what your heart and soul long for.
You’ve got an inner compass that is leading you all the time when you step back and allow yourself to hear it and overcome your 3R’s.